The Truth Trap: How Honesty Secretly Boosts Your Attraction

Interpersonal attraction comes in many forms, from personal appearance to body language, attire to behavior. It also includes chemistry formed through character and conversation. Yet in today’s world where anyone can “dress the part” or “talk the talk,” we wonder how we somehow gravitate towards some people over others, even at first impression.

Research reveals some cues about the personal traits that cause us to be attracted to certain people over others: Leanne ten Brinke et al. (2025) studied the impact of truth-telling on attraction. They began by noting the reality that despite the frequency of deception within interpersonal interaction, we rarely doubt the sincerity of others. Yet indirect evaluations of honesty versus dishonesty may differ even without suspicion about veracity.

They demonstrated across three studies that target individuals were perceived as more attractive when they were telling the truth as opposed to when they were lying; a result they also found was mediated by the target individual’s openness and warmth. They found the “truth attraction effect” was stronger for female targets than male, but unaffected by the gender of the judge.

As a practical matter, ten Brinke et al. (ibid.) state that their findings suggest that we may be more likely to approach people who are honest, even when we are not actively judging their veracity.

Additionally, regarding the ebb and flow of conversation, ten Brinke et al. found that participants were less attracted to deceptive targets during critical questions (the “truth/lie moment”) as compared to baseline questions where all targets were honest. They also found that when targets told both truth and lies, they were perceived as more attractive when telling the truth than when lying about the same topic.

Regarding gender differences, they found that the truth attraction effect appeared to be stronger for female targets, and that impressions of openness and warmth may mediate these effects.

Considering the contemporary value of truth through transparency, many people already share much of their lives both on and offline, sometimes withholding private details to ensure the safety of self and family. Yet as a best practice when sharing appropriately, both publicly and privately, from genuine compliments to describing background and work experience, honesty is apparently the best policy in more ways than one.